The Tavern

I have a dream. I want to do a lot of good things for the people.
I have a dream. I want to contribute every mililitre of my blood to my country.
I have a dream. I want to die a valuable death. I want to die for my country, for the people.

But I had no chance. My country is a peaceful place. There is no war. I have no where to spill my blood. Even if I donate all 6 litres of my blood, those blood will only prolong the lives of 3 mat rempits for a few months. Then they will go rempit, crash again and, thankgodfully die. Or my blood can be used to save the snatcher who was caught and beaten up like 猪头炳 waiting his time in ICU.

But I want to die gloriously. I don’t mind if people forget me. But I want my death to benefit people I love.

Until recently, I was enlightened by a few assemblymen. They showed me the best way to die in my beloved country.

I have made up my mind. I will join BN. I will be state assemblyman. Then I will die a state assemblyman. If I die too early, I’ll dip myself in formalin and re-die later. If I die too late……. no, I will not die too late. I will make sure I die before expiry date.

Then politicians will attend my funeral. The PM, who will be having holiday in Perth will call up the media and say “Report that I’m sad, er, he’s a good guy, and its a great loss”. The next day all the front pages will have a weeping PM’s face.

But that is not the point. What important is, there will be a by-election. Tens of millions will be poured in. Roads will be paved three layers. Telekom towers will shift overnight. Chinese schools will get upgrades. Big shots will rush into my place. Everyone in my constituency will get to shake PM and DPM’s hands. PM’s sons, son-in-laws, daugther-in-laws, adopted sons, nephews, nieces… will also come. They will take photos with old folks. They will take photos with little kids. All these will make my people happy.

Then I will look down from the cloud castle. I will cry happy tears. God will be very pleased. These people are so happy. They are celebrating my death. “Isn’t it nice to have our YB die early early?” They think. “More of this should happen, and then our country 有救了!” They quietly think.

God will then pat on my head. “Good job you’ve done, lad. You’re the most useful assemblyman since independance. The rest of them arh, they 不死都没用!”

This entry was posted on Friday, April 20th, 2007 at 7:45 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.